Yesterday was FABULOUS! Why is that working out just gives you a larger sense of purpose?
I tried the 30 minute circuit yesterday, it works your entire body in 30 minutes. Similar to Curves, except there are actual weights, you aren't working against your own resistance. Let me just tell you I am aching! I don't do the circuit the way most people do. I do the steps before I hit the machines. I do all the arm machines and then I hit the treadmill for 30-40 minutes. Then I go back to the circuit and do the steps and hit the leg machines. My legs were jello when I left...and it was an amazing feeling!
I couldn't wait to hit the shower, I was sweaty and probably smelly, but I LOVED it.
I have never been able to say that before. I've never enjoyed working out, at least not the way I am now.
I get bored easily on the treadmill.
I don't like to push myself with the weights.
I don't like to sweat.
I don't like to be all red faced and hot and sticky.
But that has changed...somewhat
I still get bored on the treadmill, unless I have some kick ass angry chic music to listen to. Then I could go and go and go!
I still don't prefer to push myself on the weights, but I do want to see some results so I have learned to push.
I like to sweat...weird.
I still don't like to be all red faced, cuz then my face looks like one of those red balls from grade school that you play dodge ball or 4 square with, but I look forward to getting hot and sticky! It makes me feel like I really did well that day!
Funny how when you really desire something, things about you change. I wonder what's changing next.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Day 5
Well I didn't stay at the gym as long as I would have really liked to, but I did get 35 minutes in on the treadmill. I practically I had to hold myself up on the railing things on the sides of the treadmill. I felt like my legs were just going to fall off my body. I guess that's what happens when you work them 5 days in a row :) I just felt like mush. I'm hoping tonight when I hit the gym I can stand on my own two legs.
I'm thinking of trying the 30 minute circuit tonight. I just don't want to look foolish trying it out. There isn't always someone available to show you how to use the machines so I might be on my own figuring this out. I will let you know how it goes.
I'm thinking of trying the 30 minute circuit tonight. I just don't want to look foolish trying it out. There isn't always someone available to show you how to use the machines so I might be on my own figuring this out. I will let you know how it goes.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Day 4
So I didn't post yesterday, but I had a good workout. I just didn't have time to post afterward. I didn't make it to the gym til 430/445. Got a good walk/jog in on the treadmill and headed home for a quick shower before a Christmas party. It was a busy night, but it was a good night. This time of year is always busy, and I love it. But, I'm looking forward to things slowing down a bit as well.
So on to day 4 of letting the inner me out...
I couldn't make it to the gym this morning because I had a couple of Avon orders to deliver and I got caught up talking to someone, which was way worth missing the gym for! Instead I came home and finished a discussion question for my Eng Lit class that will be over as soon as I submit my final paper (YAY) and then it was time to pick up my son along with the boy I babysit and head to our play date.
So instead I went to the gym around 4. A little bit busier during that time. But I just can't say enough about the atmosphere. It is a judgement free zone and I don't know if because that is posted really huge on their wall or what it is, but I really don't feel like anyone is staring at me thinking, "Yeah you should be on that treadmill!"
After only 4 days of this routine, I already have some of my self confidence that I had lost back. It's weird cuz I doubt I've lost any noticeable weight yet, but something about working out everyday helps me hold my head a little higher every day. And the weird thing is, until recently I never had any self esteem issues. Even in high school when someone said to me, "You're pretty, but you'd be REALLY pretty if you were skinny," didn't bother me the way you would expect it to. In fact, I don't think I gave it a second thought until I was older. And then it made me mad. Because, here's the thing, if you don't think I'm beautiful at this size, you don't deserve to think I'm beautiful at a smaller size.
The inner me is not going to change when I lose the weight. Only the outer appearance is going to change. And the sad thing is, even then people still won't be happy. Well don't you want to lose a few more pounds? Oh if only you could lose another 10lbs...another 10 for what? for who? You? No thank you.
I'm doing this for me, Nate, and Jesus. I want to be able to run up and down the soccer field with Nate, and not look ridonkulous doing so. I want to run and not be out of breath by the time I'm to the other end, especially considering these are not regulation size fields! They are tiny, kid size and I want to run it damn it! I know some of you are like, wow, you can't run that distance? Yes I can, but it is not fun for me and I am tired. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to run to the moon and back, and here's the tricky part....ENJOY doing it.
Right now running is frightening to me. I do worry about what I must look like, but I don't want to care about that. In fact I now worry about what I look like doing a lot of things. Like the stationary bike, I can not sit on one in front of a mirror because I am so embarrassed of the way I look on that thing that if I have to look at myself riding it, I won't do it. So I choose to sit at one that has a machine in front of it blocking the mirror.
Truth is I love myself..enough to want to be healthier. I am not a Mabis hater, I am a Mabis lover (all my real friends call me Mabis ;)). I don't self depricate and tell myself how much better I would be if I were skinny. Not at all, and I'm sorry for those people that do because that isn't fair to you. You are amazing too. The cool thing about that is that I have my Grandma Mabis to thank for the fact that I've always had amazing self esteem and I've always thought I could pretty much do anything thanks to one day we shared together.
I was about 8 years old and my grandparents took me to Toys R Us to buy a brand new sparkly PINK 10 speed. My first! This, as I'm sure you all know, is a pretty big deal in a kid's life. I was so excited when my Gramps finally got it put together and let me take it for a test ride. I rode it down their driveway and down the street and back. And when I pulled into the driveway I was in tears. On my way down the street, a stupid kid yelled, "Hot Shot," in that mean snotty voice that as a parent makes you cringe when you hear it come out of your own kid. And it just burst my bubble. I wasn't trying to show off I was just excited about my NEW bike! In that driveway my grandma changed my life...forever... She knelt down in front of me, wiped my tears, and very calmly and gently said, "Becky, not everyone can be a Mabis."
And so she sealed my self esteem.
I'm not really sure what she meant by that, but that was all I needed to get me through. She has been gone almost 19 years and I doubt she ever knew what those words meant to me. But this statement is true for you and that is what I want to give you tonight. Not everyone can be you either. And you is pretty awesome! God made sure of that when he created you. So insert your last name because this is for you: "You, not everyone can be a ..."
So on to day 4 of letting the inner me out...
I couldn't make it to the gym this morning because I had a couple of Avon orders to deliver and I got caught up talking to someone, which was way worth missing the gym for! Instead I came home and finished a discussion question for my Eng Lit class that will be over as soon as I submit my final paper (YAY) and then it was time to pick up my son along with the boy I babysit and head to our play date.
So instead I went to the gym around 4. A little bit busier during that time. But I just can't say enough about the atmosphere. It is a judgement free zone and I don't know if because that is posted really huge on their wall or what it is, but I really don't feel like anyone is staring at me thinking, "Yeah you should be on that treadmill!"
After only 4 days of this routine, I already have some of my self confidence that I had lost back. It's weird cuz I doubt I've lost any noticeable weight yet, but something about working out everyday helps me hold my head a little higher every day. And the weird thing is, until recently I never had any self esteem issues. Even in high school when someone said to me, "You're pretty, but you'd be REALLY pretty if you were skinny," didn't bother me the way you would expect it to. In fact, I don't think I gave it a second thought until I was older. And then it made me mad. Because, here's the thing, if you don't think I'm beautiful at this size, you don't deserve to think I'm beautiful at a smaller size.
The inner me is not going to change when I lose the weight. Only the outer appearance is going to change. And the sad thing is, even then people still won't be happy. Well don't you want to lose a few more pounds? Oh if only you could lose another 10lbs...another 10 for what? for who? You? No thank you.
I'm doing this for me, Nate, and Jesus. I want to be able to run up and down the soccer field with Nate, and not look ridonkulous doing so. I want to run and not be out of breath by the time I'm to the other end, especially considering these are not regulation size fields! They are tiny, kid size and I want to run it damn it! I know some of you are like, wow, you can't run that distance? Yes I can, but it is not fun for me and I am tired. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to run to the moon and back, and here's the tricky part....ENJOY doing it.
Right now running is frightening to me. I do worry about what I must look like, but I don't want to care about that. In fact I now worry about what I look like doing a lot of things. Like the stationary bike, I can not sit on one in front of a mirror because I am so embarrassed of the way I look on that thing that if I have to look at myself riding it, I won't do it. So I choose to sit at one that has a machine in front of it blocking the mirror.
Truth is I love myself..enough to want to be healthier. I am not a Mabis hater, I am a Mabis lover (all my real friends call me Mabis ;)). I don't self depricate and tell myself how much better I would be if I were skinny. Not at all, and I'm sorry for those people that do because that isn't fair to you. You are amazing too. The cool thing about that is that I have my Grandma Mabis to thank for the fact that I've always had amazing self esteem and I've always thought I could pretty much do anything thanks to one day we shared together.
I was about 8 years old and my grandparents took me to Toys R Us to buy a brand new sparkly PINK 10 speed. My first! This, as I'm sure you all know, is a pretty big deal in a kid's life. I was so excited when my Gramps finally got it put together and let me take it for a test ride. I rode it down their driveway and down the street and back. And when I pulled into the driveway I was in tears. On my way down the street, a stupid kid yelled, "Hot Shot," in that mean snotty voice that as a parent makes you cringe when you hear it come out of your own kid. And it just burst my bubble. I wasn't trying to show off I was just excited about my NEW bike! In that driveway my grandma changed my life...forever... She knelt down in front of me, wiped my tears, and very calmly and gently said, "Becky, not everyone can be a Mabis."
And so she sealed my self esteem.
I'm not really sure what she meant by that, but that was all I needed to get me through. She has been gone almost 19 years and I doubt she ever knew what those words meant to me. But this statement is true for you and that is what I want to give you tonight. Not everyone can be you either. And you is pretty awesome! God made sure of that when he created you. So insert your last name because this is for you: "You, not everyone can be a ..."
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Day 2 - Whew
I have never, and I do mean NEVER enjoyed exercise of any kind. Why you ask? Because I'm lazy but mostly because I hate to sweat.
I hate that sticky feeling your skin gets when you get hot.
I hate that my face turns beet red when I get hot (no seriously I turn like Christmas red! not cute!).
I hate when sweat beads up on my upper lip.
I hate when I can feel sweat drip down my back or my chest.
None of those things are good things.
Until today! Can I just tell you how weird it was that I was excited that my shirt was clinging to me with sweat today?! I wasn't dripping sweat, but my shirt was damp and normally I would have been completely grossed out.
Not today!
I was so excited I had the biggest, goofiest smile on my face as I walked to the locker room. I'm pretty sure people thought I was on some kind of drug, not just an endorphine high! LOL
It was truly the coolest feeling, knowing I had worked so hard that my shirt couldn't absorb all the sweat my body produced. I know it's kind of gross, but it gave me a sense of accomplishment today.
And I have to admit, 10 minutes into the treadmill I was ready to give up.
My left ankle was sore and hurt every time I put my foot down. But instead of giving up I asked my buddy Jesus to take away the pain and help me just go another couple of minutes. I had to do this about every 5 minutes because my ankle was really starting to hurt, but I made it for 38.35 minutes!
And I have discovered that angry chic music is fun to work out to. This morning's play list included Pink, Adele, Christina Aguilera, Avril Lavigne, and Ashlee Simpson. I'm still trying to find the right mix for every day, I'm mean hello it is only day 2!
However, maybe if I switch it up everyday and keep listening to Pandora, I won't get bored with it. I know you're thinking, wait I thought you were watching episodes of One Tree Hill on Netflix. I do, but I only watch it on the bike because I get a crick in my neck on the treadmill. LOL
I have to admit listening to Pink sing So What I'm still a rock star made me want to run...but I'm not quite there yet. When I get there, that is the song I want to run to!
So want to know something weird about Planet Fitness? They don't have scales. I know I thought the same thing, isn't this a gym. Why yes it is, but they don't want you to think of it as a gym. When you walk through their doors they want you to know you are in a judgement free zone, hence no scales. So now I'm going to have to buy one because I do want to know how much I currently weigh.
That is a very scary number I am sure because this is the heaviest I have ever been.
And there is another incentive...if I can lost 50lbs in 6 months I get $1000! I don't want to give all the details of this proposition, but I do want you to know that if you love someone who is overweight, do not try to bribe them into being your idea of perfection by offering to give them money. Love them no matter what. I was extremely hurt when I was first approached about this. But now I'm taking it and running with it. Although, I'm not going to accept the $1000 at the end of six months. I'm going to make a counter offer which I'm keeping under wraps for now.
Day 2 - success!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Day 1
It's December 12 and I have started the quest for unleashing my inner self! I know there is a skinnier, healthier me trapped under all this excess skin and weight. Today is the first day of finding her and setting her free! I started working out this morning and I must say, it was quite enjoyable!
I really like the gym I joined. The bright colors help keep you energized while your on the treadmill, bike, or elliptical machine, not to mention the music they have playing. Of course I had my iPhone plugged into one of their docks so I could watch Netflix while working out!
I love One Tree Hill and I am using that as incentive on the treadmill. Each episode is about 42 minutes long, so I know if I watch one full episode while walking away on the treadmill, I have gotten in at least 40 minutes of exercise. Of course this won't work on strength training days, it will have to be music on those days.
I'm still looking for a rockin' workout mix. Until I make one or find one, I have Pandora or the gym's music. They had a mix of old school and current music playing today.
Anyway this isn't supposed to be a critique of the gym I joined. It's supposed to be a window into the journey to unleash my inner skinny girl. I know she is in there, somewhere. There is a lot of crap to burn through to find her. But I know once I do, all the sweat and sore muscles will have been worth it. I plan on sharing some brutally honest facts and figures with you through this blog.
Oh! One thing I found interesting about this gym is that there is no scale in the women's locker room. I wonder where it is because I wanted to find out what I actually weigh. I know it's not a pretty number, but nonetheless I still want to know what it is.
And I want to take some measurements, which I think will make me cry, but I want to know.
And I am going to take before, during, and after pictures. This of course will coincide with my "Year in Pictures" project I'm starting on January 1st, but it doesn't have to be my picture that day either.
I took some pictures of myself in the locker room and I have to tell you, I did NOT like what I saw! Your body really looks different when you're in sweat pants and a t-shirt that is a size too small. I know you're all like "Why are you wearing a t-shirt that is a size too small?" Because I want to see how long it takes for me to like the way it looks on me.
So if I wear it every time I work out, then I will get to see some results as well. I just wish I could see results sooner. I have to remember that I didn't get to this size overnight and I won't be able to unleash skinny me overnight either.
It's going to take hard work, determination, and guts! But with a little atta girl spirit, I can do it...I can find my inner skinny girl and finally free her!
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